I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining samples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in a lengthy while, I don’t feel alone.
Part of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I will be doing this for the wrong reason; as a means to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to fairly share wasn’t yet clear in those days; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the acim teacher Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have enable you to see inside. Don’t want it troubling the mind, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I really could not consider anything that I had stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I had in visiting the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere having its residents’reassurance, by simply my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief has been (has been?) released.
You can find other things that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.