I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this opportunity to see shining samples of the teachings of a course in miracles acim, and fo the first time in a lengthy while, I do not feel alone.
Section of me wanted to keep longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I would be doing so for the incorrect reason; as an easy way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to talk about wasn’t yet clear in those days; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have enable you to see inside. Don’t want it troubling the mind, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I possibly could not consider whatever I had stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the most prominent fear I had in arriving at the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere using its residents’reassurance, by simply my presence alone. This belief that I possibly could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for many years, and has colored lots of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief is being (has been?) released.
You will find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.